Conscious Parenting is about becoming mindful of your behaviour as a parent and engaging with your child as an individual.
Conscious parenting is a shift away from the traditional parenting model whereby the parents are to be obeyed and followed, and the child is to be punished if they do not follow the rules. Rather, conscious parenting focuses on connecting with children using empathy to resolve conflict, and making emotionally intelligent discipline choices rather than punitive punishment. Conscious parenting deepens children’s trust in the world and cultivates an environment where children can thrive, follow their own interests and passions, as well as have a strong, trusting and loving relationship with their parents.
This model of parenting does not require parents to abandon all their parenting practices, and it certainly doesn’t mean parents allow unsafe or inappropriate behaviour or ignore setting limits. However, conscious parenting focuses on helping the child self-regulate and build maturity and age-appropriate cooperation, whilst strengthening the emotional connection between parents and their children.
Conscious Parenting Tips:
- Focus on long-term goals. Lack of discipline and disobedience on the child’s part can lead to negative reactions by their parents. Rather than reacting negatively in the heat of the moment, take a moment to distract yourself from the situation, give yourself a moment to process your frustrations and emotions, and focus instead on your long-term goals of building a relationship with your child based on love, trust, and empathy.
- Listen to your children. Ask your children questions, listen to what they have to say, and try to understand their perspectives.
- Take a loving, non-judgemental approach to discipline. Punishment disconnects us from our children and teaches conditional love; your influence will be stronger with a loving, non-judgmental approach to discipline than fear-based, traditional techniques which are aimed at short-term compliance or unwavering obedience.
- Be flexible. Don’t stick to ‘no’s’ unnecessarily and have provision to relax your rules when the situation calls for it.
- Check your language. Is your language cruel, callous, sarcastic or otherwise degrading, either verbally or non-verbally? Use kind, respectful and confident communication.
- Set realistic expectations. Is your request developmentally appropriate? And how can you help your child fulfil your request?
- Practice self-regulation. Is your manner calm and confident? Can you remain composed and non-argumentative, even when your child is not?
“When you parent, it’s crucial you realise you aren’t raising a “mini me,” but a spirit throbbing with its own signature. For this reason, it’s important to separate who you are from who each of your children is. Children aren’t ours to possess or own in any way. When we know this in the depths of our soul, we tailor our raising of them to their needs, rather than moulding them to fit our needs.” – Shefali Tsabary, The Conscious Parent