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From a young age, children develop a sense of ‘self’ and as parents, it is important to familiarise yourself with some positive parenting skills to ensure your child has the best possible advantage of becoming happy and having the ability to cope with the challenges life will throw at them.
A child’s happiness is what every parent wants but unfortunately, our own behaviours can negatively impact our children’s self-esteem and self-worth. Below are a few tips to help raise happy, positive and self-loving children.
1. Positive Praise: When you see your child doing something good, be sure to praise them. This encouragement over time will reinforce the knowledge that their parents are attentive to their good behaviours. This will also make them feel good about themselves and will be more inclined to do good things as they progress through life. Try to praise your child every day and rather than giving them a monetary or material reward, try giving a cuddle, a compliment or telling others of what they did. The sooner you start positive praise, the better as this will help to shape their behaviours when they are with other relatives, friends and in a school environment.
2. Quality Time: Taking some time out each day to have some quality time with your child can make a world of difference to their behaviour. Little things such as having breakfast together, going for a walk before school, playing a game or reading a book before bed will be rewarding for both of you. Feeling guilty about being a working parent will not benefit you or your child, instead, choose a certain night of the week for you to have some quality time together.
All your child wants to do is spend time with you, so constantly saying ‘no’ can really affect them. Always follow up a no with ‘we can do this on the weekend’. A child who lacks attention will usually act out in a negative way as they have learned that’s how they get your attention. Being present in the time you spend with your child is also important. Turn off the television, put your phone away and don’t rush your time together, these memories will stay with your child more than you think.
3. Self-Esteem: How you talk, behave and express yourself will have an affect your child’s self-esteem. Praising their good behaviours and allowing them to be independent will reinforce your love and belief in them. Constant criticism, comparing and negative reinforcing comments will lower your child’s self-esteem. Remember, they do not have the maturity to understand how we view or see things in the adult world; even joking about their negative traits over time can really affect your child.
Out of school activities such as sports and social interactions can help your child to gain skills and develop a greater sense of self-worth. Feeling confident and independent as a child will make a big difference when they hit their adolescent years as well.
4. Remain Calm: When your child has become upset from something that is clearly distressing them, as a parent, it is best to remain calm. This will not only show them that the situation is under control, but also they will learn if the situation was to happen again, how to react to it. Teaching your child relaxation techniques such as controlling their breathing and/or picturing a calm place can help to reduce their feelings of fear or worry.
5. Unconditional Love: It can be challenging to discipline your child in a way that is still nurturing and encouraging. Showing your child unconditional love is so important for their growth as this can affect their self-esteem and future relationships. When your child has done the wrong thing, avoid blaming and criticizing them, tell them what you expect in the future and that you still love them.
6. Me Time: Nurturing yourself also means you are nurturing your child. Having some ‘me time’ should not be riddled with guilt. Happy parents create happy children, and taking the time to do the things you love will leave a positive impact on yourself and your child.