Explaining Suicide to Children
Suicide can be a difficult topic for any of us to contemplate and understand. This can be especially true for children and young people who might know what suicide even is. Although we always want to protect our children from tragic events like suicide, in reality, it’s not always possible. In our efforts to protect children, rather than explaining suicide to our children, we often lie to them or conceal part of the truth. The intention may be good, but it often has a negative impact on children when they eventually learn the truth. It can even impact their trust in you as a parent. Sometimes, they feel as though they aren’t allowed to talk about their feelings, and bottle up their grief instead. This can have further negative effects, including impacting on their outlook on life and relationships.
Children and young people usually feel many of the emotions adults do during times of grief. Particularly in cases of suicide, these feelings may include guilt, abandonment, or relief if there have been previous suicide attempts. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, and children should always be encouraged to talk about their feelings. When they do, reassure them they are loved, they are safe, and that it is not their fault. Although you may feel anger towards the deceased, it is important you avoid speaking negatively about them to children. Remind young people that not everybody with a mental health issue dies by suicide, and there is always help available.
Young people often become more clingy and more fearful of abandonment after the suicide of a loved one. Be sure to keep up your usual routines with them, as this will provide a sense of security. Remind them that it is their choice to share as much or as little as they choose to with others. Although it may seem a big ask of you, helping young people understand suicide will empower them for their future.
Contact Alana Roy for more information or to arrange a therapy session.
